Love the one you’re with

Yesterday I went out to Westchester to enjoy one of my friend’s suburban backyard pools. It was a perfect day in terms of weather, and her backyard was like a little flowery oasis with perfect-temperature water.

As we floated around the pool, she began to talk about how she’s sad to leave New York and go back to law school because all of her friends (all located here) are going to be doing all of these fun things without her. Yet, in the next breath she talked about her winter term trip to Australia and her class weekend ski trip and her spring break plans. 

Ummm, THAT sounds super fun. Most likely more fun than I will have here. At the very least, more adventurous.

But it’s not necessarily about what you do, it’s who you do it with, she defended. It’s not that going to Atlantic Beach [where a bunch of us are going afters she leaves for school] is amazing. It’s that you’re all doing it together without me.

Touche.

I get it. 

This is actually something I had to learn. You can go across the globe to, say...Argentina, but without the right person or people to share it with, the experience can lose some of its luster. (Don’t get me wrong, I had an AMAZING time when I went to Argentina—even some valuable time alone—but some of my best experiences were when I was doing something exotic WITH people I really enjoyed.)

Some of my favorite nights have been sitting around watching YouTube clips with my best friend. That’s just it. I was with my best friend.

Maybe that’s why this past weekend was so great. It was my first full weekend in New York since before Memorial Day—you may recall the epic Vegas extravaganza weekend that kicked off my summer.

Friday night, one of my best friends from Barnard came over for Shabbat dinner. I had originally hoped to throw a big dinner celebrating my new job and my New York weekend, but so many people were going out of town for their last licks at summer. So it was just the two of us. I cooked. She brought wine and dessert. We ate delicious food, and then sipped Moscato while we caught up. And then...we topped off the night with a viewing of Beauty and the Beast.

I love Disney. I love Disney more with a friend. I love Disney most with a friend who loves Disney and can recite all the lines if the moment arises. It was such a simple evening, but 100 percent enjoyable.

Saturday I slept in and then planned to do some quiet reading on the roof. Not so according to plan, I got invited to the park after I was comfortably settled in my lounge chair. But I hadn’t seen these guys in a while, since I’ve been away every weekend. I packed up and headed to the Great Lawn. 

Even though I read while they played catch, and I ducked some frisbees—they really should learn to aim better—it was great to be around them. Casual, cool, just hanging out. It was so much nicer to be in the aura of a group, laughing and joking about other people in the park (and said terrible aim).

Saturday night, I went to a housewarming party for my friend at his new awesome penthouse apartment on Central Park West. Now before you start thinking all Plaza Hotel on me, calm down. It’s a two story apartment, with exposed brick and lofted spaces and balconies. Awesome by young New Yorker standards; not quite as elegant as Gossip Girl or the Upper East Side. The party had an awesome eclectic vibe; all three guys went to Brandeis, so there was a large Brandeis showing, but one guy used to live in the East Village (bringing some downtown flavor to the Upper West), and another guy just started Columbia Business School (recruiting some of the ethnic, brainy crowd). 

My friends and I turned one of the rooms into a dance party, taking breaks to cool off on the airy balcony (really makes me want a balcony). At the end of the day, it was an apartment party. We were drinking from Red Solo cups, accompanied by a Songza playlist. But it was awesome! We didn’t need a crazy club that night because we were just having fun with each other.

Topping it off with Sunday’s rest and relaxation by the pool, my future-lawyer friend has a point. I would never stop planning random outings or forego the opportunity to do something uniquely New York, but I will say that I have definitely learned the value of the people I choose to do these things with. While I do not negate my earlier post about going it alone, variety is the spice of life. I mean, it’s nice to love what you do, but it’s satisfying to love the ones you’re with.