An Attitude of Gratitude

Thanksgiving has come early. Not the Turkey and the cranberry sauce—after all, with spring sprouting tomorrow they’re not in season—but the thanks.

It’s too easy to complain. In life. In general. In fact, it’s lazy. When you think about your world, for some reason it seems like less work to think of all that you don’t have and/or all that is wrong. This may partially be backwash from living in New York, the capitol of aiming towards a goal and future-thinking. We’re so focused on where we’re going, it’s simple to dwell on what we lack in comparison.

But today (and every day) I challenge you to challenge yourself. Drama makes for fun television and often times interesting conversation or great books, which is probably why we gravitate towards it. When it comes to your thoughts and perspective on life, practice an attitude of gratitude. (Note: I cannot take credit for this phrase as it was suggested to me by a friend.)

Try making a list once a week (or every day for you over-achieving New York crazies) of five things you are thankful for. Write it down. See those five things. Appreciate them. Smile because they are true. In a city that is so fast-paced and constantly achieving, take a few minutes to acknowledge the present moment.

This past weekend, I spent a little time in the Motherland: good ole West Hartford, CT. I arrived home for Shabbat dinner on Friday. Can I just say that I love Shabbat dinner at home? The five of us sat around the dining room table, talking and laughing. (Thankful item number 1). But quickly, my sister began complaining. I don’t even remember about what. It happens that fast. One second you’re giggling, the next you’re nagging. Don’t give in.

Saturday night I went to Pops n Jazz, the annual jazz show at my high school where I performed as a Jazz Dancer from 9-12 grades. The show has been in my family for years, as my brother followed and my sister closed out the Fierberg clan dynasty. As I took my seat, one parent behind me was blabbing on and on, “You know, it’s easy for these kids to think that they are good and can make it doing this when they’re in this school. But when you’re paying for college education, music school is not exactly what you want to spend your money on. You need to plan for a career.”

My blood was boiling. First of all, our school’s program is stellar. Award-winning. If you are good in the realm of Hall High, chances are you’re actually really talented. Secondly, there are plenty of kids who graduate and pursue a music major rather than a conservatory program so that there is a “fall-back plan.” Third of all (particularly in this economy) music is a completely legitimate profession.

But I digress. Rather than get into it with this stranger, I realized how fortunate I am to have parents who support me.(Thankful item 2). I’m not pursuing a career in music, but sometimes it seems that the chances of making it in music are greater than in writing. Point is, success is difficult. Support is key. And I am lucky to have encouragement from my parents.

Yet, when we got home from the show my sister started complaining. I love her dearly, but she was in a negative place. (I don't want to sound like I'm throwing her under the bus. She's not a negative person, she just had a moment.) So my mother chimes in with, “If you’re life is so hard, I’ll go live your life and you can stay here and live mine.” To which I exhasperatedly huffed, “Your life is not hard either!”

Now of course, life is difficult. Life is stressful. I’m not trying to deny anyone the need to vent. I’m not trying to say be happy all the time. All I’m saying is, in those trying moments allow yourself to be upset but then recover by expressing thanks for the big picture.

Yeah, it sucks that you didn’t get into the job you wanted. But be thankful that you are smart enough and possess a skill set that you will get the job you want and is a better fit soon. Sure it’s not ideal that you have to work late tonight and cancel your dinner plans. But chances are, big picture your life is good.

Focus on that. Trust me. In this city of crazy and constant climbing to the top, you’ll feel better to linger on your current rung and appreciate the view. I’m going to contemplate items 3-5; there's a lot to choose from.