Happy Anniversary to me. Today is the date that marks the first birthday of The A Train!
In honor of this occasion, I feel I must return to the roots of this blog. When I first started out, I wasn't sure what this writing space would turn into and I've definitely been feeling it out week to week. But one of my original intentions was to share my New York experiences (the best things to see and do) with all of you. As you know, I keep my schedule tight here in the Big Apple.
This past week, I managed to squeeze in some new finds!
In celebration of last week's short 2.5 work days, I felt it only appropriate to treat every night like I didn't have to show up at the office the next day. Monday night I trained down to Christopher Street to see my friend Liam Forde's show We're Having a Dinner Party at The Duplex. A bar that looks more like a giant Dollar Store with light-up letters spelling D-U-P-L-E-X in its six arched windows, I ventured inside this Village haunt after walking by it approximately 63 times. (I made that number up.)
The Duplex has a cozy little cabaret theater on the upper floor, just around the corner from the televisions blasting Ru Paul's Drag Race All Stars. It's one large in-your-face dose of theatrical love.
The theater seats about 70. The audience scrunched around those tiny wheel-like dinner theater tables, rubbing knees with strangers, just like in all of those episodes of Seinfeld and Sex and the City. Anywho, Liam and I grew up in West Hartford doing shows together and he has always been an incredible talent. I hadn't yet been able to make it to one of his shows. "No time like the present," I thought and marched in by myself to a front row nook.
Liam and his co-host of Dinner Party, Babs Rubenstein, brought down the house. Seriously, there is a reason this girl is headed off on the first national tour of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Diva. (In a good way.) Not only did Liam sing, he accompanied Babs...and played while he sang...and arranged all the music in the show...and composed three of the original songs. I feel so unproductive.
As much as I love theater on the Great White Way, I beg of you to go to a small little 'nothing' show of no-name emerging artists, in the tight cabaret space of a dingy cheesy bar. That ten dollar cover will buy you a night of sheer enjoyment and quality entertainment.
On the flip side, you can do what I did last night and listen to slightly established groups play their music for free as part of a festival. I went to Winter's Eve at Lincoln Square—a night of free jazz, food tastings and holiday glee. My friend Adam and I listened to the Hot Sardines play some New Orleans jazz, until it got too cold to stand still outside in November.
Luckily, Adam had heard about the event in advance so we actually planned to go (unlike many of the neighborhood passersby who just stopped in for a few minutes).
But these sorts of events happen all the time in neighborhoods like yours! The easiest way to find out about them is to go to your hood's BID website (Business Improvement District). BIDs are the organizations that actively work to bring people traffic to specific city communities in order to boost the economy of local businesses. One of the most famous is the Times Square Alliance.
Check out the BID website where you live. You never know what might be going on. Or, if you live in the most uncool place and nothing is going on there, pick some of your favorite areas and visit their BID's site for a calendar of events. There is so much going on, there's no need to miss out—even if you do have to work 5 days this week.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Cleanse
It's holiday time again, everyone! I am so stoked, I'm not even going to hide the fact that I already listened to some Glee Christmas Radio on Pandora last week.
One thing the holidays are good for aside from the obvious cheer and merriment: treats & eating. BUT, too much of a good thing is never a good thing.
For the past ten days, I've actually been on a cleanse. It started out just as a nutritional cleanse, using the Isagenix system, and has actually become a life cleanse (if that's even an expression).
Now before you all think that I've been fasting for ten days, or only drinking juices I've made from pounding fresh fruit to a pulp, or drinking molasses or something, calm down. I did a lot of research before taking the plunge and I chose a system that focuses on healthy eating and bulking up nutrition. In fact, my eating schedule has been so intense that I'm not sure I've consumed so often in a single day before this. Just check out my eating schedule here.
I decided to do this not so that I could lose weight (although I did lose a few extra pounds slash inches that did not need to reside on my mid-section), but rather for my digestive and overall health. Lately, I've been feeling lethargic and my mind has been bogged down—basically, I've been in a funk. Having completed ten days of my eleven day adventure, I can honestly say that I feel energized, lighter and healthier. In fact, if you're looking for something like this feel free to talk to me about it.
Yet, Thanksgiving is just two days away and there is no denying that I am gearing up for some delicious annual goodies. While I am for sure going to squeeze my way into the buffet line at dinner and grab a hunk of meat and a side of pie, I know that I feel better when I have a little bit of a good thing, rather than stuffing myself like a suitcase I'm taking on a three-month vacation.
I've written once before about taking care of your body, but holiday time is a precarious balance of allowing yourself to indulge without overdoing it. Eat sweets, but pay attention. You don't have to tie your hands to a chair in self-restraint, just watch your own choices. Thanksgiving is actually a great time to revamp habits—not just the eating kind.
Equally as important as treating your body nicely at this time of year: disencumbering your mind. Just get rid of all the mental baggage. For me, that meant unloading years of emotions that I had thought of, analyzed, processed, but had not said out loud to the person I needed to have hear them.
Say that things you have not yet said this year. If someone has hurt you, tell them. Don't lecture them or berate them, just confess it. If someone has helped you, tell them. Thank them for the support they have given you.
Ridding yourself of the emotions that pile up and feel like physical weight will make room for your thoughts. It will free up the energy you usually spend dwelling.
Speaking of revamping habits, I am actively revising the way I socialize in New York. Many of you know that I consider myself a Manhattanite through and through. I love this borough and I'm not sure that I could live in any of the other four. However, I've been here for (going on) seven years. Life is starting to feel routine and I want to jazz things up.
Just over a year ago, I had been living in Chelsea. Although I love that neighborhood and still use any excuse to go there, I felt isolated. I had no sense of community down there, no go-to group of friends. Every Thursday I scrambled from Friday night Shabbat dinner plans. Every Saturday afternoon, I had to work hard to invent a plan for that night.
Now, on the Upper West Side, I feel a sense of belonging. I have friends in my building and friends two blocks away, three blocks away, five blocks away. Basically, I live in a circumference of friends. There is almost always an invitation for a Friday night dinner and I have my girls who I can call regularly to ask, "What are we doing tonight?" This year, I am thankful for that. As amazing as it is to be able to depend on this, trust me I do NOT take this for granted, I do feel like I see the same people at the same type of parties week after week.
So in the interest of changing it up, I visited one of my closest friends down in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn over the weekend. My Brooklyn-dwelling friends seem to faint when I make it across the bridge.
The truth is, I have no problem going in to Brooklyn if a) I have a destination and b) if it's not going to cause me to get home ridiculously late on a school night. But, knowing that it's far, my Brooklynite friends often volunteer to meet in the middle of our two places, namely downtown Manhattan.
Well this weekend, I had time and ambition to venture out. I'm not averse to the subway system. So I offered to come to Brooklyn, and I ate the most delicious meal at Milk Bar. The Citrus Salad with grapefruit, onion and feta was tangy and refreshing and my bowl of homemade granola, Greek yogurt and poached pears dripped with flavor. Totally worth the extra travel time. But most importantly, it was a departure from my usual hangouts. Variety is the spice of life and I'm looking to turn up the heat.
After all, I started this blog as a way to help all of you experience the A+ things in life and of what this city has to offer. Milk Bar goes on that list this week.
This Thanksgiving marks the continuation of cleansing for me: cleansing my body, cleansing my brain, and cleansing my life of humdrum routine.
So this holiday season, watch yourself and make choices that lead you down the A+ path.
One thing the holidays are good for aside from the obvious cheer and merriment: treats & eating. BUT, too much of a good thing is never a good thing.
For the past ten days, I've actually been on a cleanse. It started out just as a nutritional cleanse, using the Isagenix system, and has actually become a life cleanse (if that's even an expression).
Now before you all think that I've been fasting for ten days, or only drinking juices I've made from pounding fresh fruit to a pulp, or drinking molasses or something, calm down. I did a lot of research before taking the plunge and I chose a system that focuses on healthy eating and bulking up nutrition. In fact, my eating schedule has been so intense that I'm not sure I've consumed so often in a single day before this. Just check out my eating schedule here.
I decided to do this not so that I could lose weight (although I did lose a few extra pounds slash inches that did not need to reside on my mid-section), but rather for my digestive and overall health. Lately, I've been feeling lethargic and my mind has been bogged down—basically, I've been in a funk. Having completed ten days of my eleven day adventure, I can honestly say that I feel energized, lighter and healthier. In fact, if you're looking for something like this feel free to talk to me about it.
Yet, Thanksgiving is just two days away and there is no denying that I am gearing up for some delicious annual goodies. While I am for sure going to squeeze my way into the buffet line at dinner and grab a hunk of meat and a side of pie, I know that I feel better when I have a little bit of a good thing, rather than stuffing myself like a suitcase I'm taking on a three-month vacation.
I've written once before about taking care of your body, but holiday time is a precarious balance of allowing yourself to indulge without overdoing it. Eat sweets, but pay attention. You don't have to tie your hands to a chair in self-restraint, just watch your own choices. Thanksgiving is actually a great time to revamp habits—not just the eating kind.
Equally as important as treating your body nicely at this time of year: disencumbering your mind. Just get rid of all the mental baggage. For me, that meant unloading years of emotions that I had thought of, analyzed, processed, but had not said out loud to the person I needed to have hear them.
Say that things you have not yet said this year. If someone has hurt you, tell them. Don't lecture them or berate them, just confess it. If someone has helped you, tell them. Thank them for the support they have given you.
Ridding yourself of the emotions that pile up and feel like physical weight will make room for your thoughts. It will free up the energy you usually spend dwelling.
Speaking of revamping habits, I am actively revising the way I socialize in New York. Many of you know that I consider myself a Manhattanite through and through. I love this borough and I'm not sure that I could live in any of the other four. However, I've been here for (going on) seven years. Life is starting to feel routine and I want to jazz things up.
Just over a year ago, I had been living in Chelsea. Although I love that neighborhood and still use any excuse to go there, I felt isolated. I had no sense of community down there, no go-to group of friends. Every Thursday I scrambled from Friday night Shabbat dinner plans. Every Saturday afternoon, I had to work hard to invent a plan for that night.
Now, on the Upper West Side, I feel a sense of belonging. I have friends in my building and friends two blocks away, three blocks away, five blocks away. Basically, I live in a circumference of friends. There is almost always an invitation for a Friday night dinner and I have my girls who I can call regularly to ask, "What are we doing tonight?" This year, I am thankful for that. As amazing as it is to be able to depend on this, trust me I do NOT take this for granted, I do feel like I see the same people at the same type of parties week after week.
So in the interest of changing it up, I visited one of my closest friends down in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn over the weekend. My Brooklyn-dwelling friends seem to faint when I make it across the bridge.
The truth is, I have no problem going in to Brooklyn if a) I have a destination and b) if it's not going to cause me to get home ridiculously late on a school night. But, knowing that it's far, my Brooklynite friends often volunteer to meet in the middle of our two places, namely downtown Manhattan.
Well this weekend, I had time and ambition to venture out. I'm not averse to the subway system. So I offered to come to Brooklyn, and I ate the most delicious meal at Milk Bar. The Citrus Salad with grapefruit, onion and feta was tangy and refreshing and my bowl of homemade granola, Greek yogurt and poached pears dripped with flavor. Totally worth the extra travel time. But most importantly, it was a departure from my usual hangouts. Variety is the spice of life and I'm looking to turn up the heat.
After all, I started this blog as a way to help all of you experience the A+ things in life and of what this city has to offer. Milk Bar goes on that list this week.
This Thanksgiving marks the continuation of cleansing for me: cleansing my body, cleansing my brain, and cleansing my life of humdrum routine.
So this holiday season, watch yourself and make choices that lead you down the A+ path.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Ar-GO: Where we are and where we go
Thinking back on this past week, it’s been tough to think about how to follow up last week’s post.
Do I rave about the unbelievable concert fundraiser at Lincoln Center I attended to hear a close friend perform? Do I tell you how I had an awesome time at my first trip to the Garden? (Yay tennis!) Do I confess that on Saturday I took a breather from racing from activity to activity and laid in my sweats watching movies for eight hours...and I’m proud of it?
While I could easily go on about how I now have Patrick Rafter and Pete Sampras’ signatures resting on my bookshelf, I’ll refrain.
Because Sunday night, I went to see Argo. Going to the movies—groundbreaking, I know. I had been excited to see the film since Ben’s bearded, stoic face hit previews everywhere. When he puts his name on something, I take it seriously. So, it was no surprise when everyone I knew was raving about the box office hit.
The movie itself is an incredible piece of drama, a showcase of subtly brilliant acting (thank you Ben Affleck, Bryan Cranston, Victor Garber, Alan Arkin, John Goodman, Scoot McNairy). But more importantly, it unearthed a story that desperately needs to be told.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like people think our problems with Iran are new. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think the American population at large knows about the hostage situation of 1980 the way that every American should know. Or maybe I just don’t think people my age know about this cataclysmic event the way we should.
I was never taught it in school. I was taught about the Soviets, World War II, Korea, Vietnam. Until this year when I read Lesley Stahl’s autobiography, Reporting Live, I had no clue that hundreds of American ambassadors had been held hostage for over a year in the Middle East.
I was never taught it in school. I was taught about the Soviets, World War II, Korea, Vietnam. Until this year when I read Lesley Stahl’s autobiography, Reporting Live, I had no clue that hundreds of American ambassadors had been held hostage for over a year in the Middle East.
This is a MAJOR historical event and I had no idea prior to April of this year. If you knew prior to Argo, kudos to you.
There are times when Hollywood leverages its mass appeal and reach in order to send a poignant message. In this case, GK Films educated the movie-going world about an international crisis that had been forgotten about (if it was ever remembered in the first place).
The scenes of Iranians bubbling with heated passion, rioting and protesting in the streets, the dangling bodies, the civilians clutching machine guns, caused terror to rise up within me. These Iranians hated Americans for being American. The pure loathing struck a fear that I felt in the pit of my stomach. What did we ever do? I really want to know. Why does that outspoken majority of that country hate us so much? Is it because they consider us immodest? Is it because of our diversity and (inadequate) attempt to create tolerance for this diversity?
I don't know the answer. But what’s more frightening than the question about our past is that not so much has changed in thirty years. There is more uncertainty and unrest than ever in the Middle East as the wave of the Arab Spring floods the region. There is still hate in the hearts of many. There is chanting. There is rioting.
At the end of the movie, I sat there crying in my seat.
[SPOILER ALERT]
It’s not a sad ending, by the way. I was crying because I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the ordeal that so many endured. Overwhelmed by the hate and the violence. Overwhelmed by the depth of anger so many Iranians felt and continue to feel. Overwhelmed by the fact that I grew up not knowing this story. Overwhelmed wondering how many more people do not know?
[SPOILER ALERT]
It’s not a sad ending, by the way. I was crying because I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the ordeal that so many endured. Overwhelmed by the hate and the violence. Overwhelmed by the depth of anger so many Iranians felt and continue to feel. Overwhelmed by the fact that I grew up not knowing this story. Overwhelmed wondering how many more people do not know?
I knew that the hostages made it out. I knew because I knew the history. Or, as my friend put it, “You know they make it out because no one would make a movie about an impossible operation that did, in fact, fail.” More important than whether the hostages made it out alive or not, or whether CIA Agent Tony Mendez’s crazy idea actually worked, is the history.
We forget our history. Consequentially, it repeats itself.
We must pay closer attention. We cannot let ourselves off the hook.
We must pay closer attention. We cannot let ourselves off the hook.
In the wake of the election, my grandfather asked if I was happy with the result. I told him, I’m happy with the dialogue the election created. I’m happy with how tuned in and aware the country seemed to be.
I explained, “Just like people used to ask me if I was in favor of a Hitler-like dictator, Ahmadinejad, coming to speak on my campus during my undergrad, my response was: I do not support him in the slightest, but his presence created a dialogue. Before he was invited to come, I had no clue what was going on in Iran. Suddenly, I knew.”
I explained, “Just like people used to ask me if I was in favor of a Hitler-like dictator, Ahmadinejad, coming to speak on my campus during my undergrad, my response was: I do not support him in the slightest, but his presence created a dialogue. Before he was invited to come, I had no clue what was going on in Iran. Suddenly, I knew.”
Now that the election is over, we cannot just go back to existing as sleeper-citizens with regard to politics, or current events, or the past that has led us to where we are and where we go.
We must stay tuned in. We must pay attention to the world.
We must stay tuned in. We must pay attention to the world.
While the sold-out crowd spilled out of the theater, I lingered in my seat. I felt like I couldn't leave the story behind and just walk out and go home and do laundry or something. I wanted to do something. I don't know what.
Perhaps uncovering more buried history is a good start.
Perhaps uncovering more buried history is a good start.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
New York Moment: The Aftermath
Think about your house...your apartment...your car.
Now think about every little thing that could possibly be inside. The cushiony couches (the things between those couch cushions). Your new giant-screen TV that you saved up for. Your laptop and the external harddrive you back up on for times like these. Your bills. Your bank records. Your passport. The photos sitting in boxes on the floor that you meant to put in albums. The button-down you wore to work yesterday. The dress that you wore last year. Your favorite pair of leather boots that have gone way past their prime, but you just can't give them up. The slippers worn so flat their memories are more warming than the nonexistent faux fur. Everything you have ever owned or touched.
Now throw it all out. To the curb.
Unsalvageable.
And while you're at it, you're going to have to rip up the flooring of wherever it is you live because salt and natural sewage have soaked it—that smell of fishy lake seeping into the place that used to be your oasis from the outside world. This used to be home, but now it's just a fetid shell.
Welcome to Oceanside, Long Island, where I volunteered on Sunday with an organization know as JCorps.
The aftermath of Superstorm Sandy. The only thing you could be more sick of hearing about is the election.
While the polls have closed and the decision is final, the suffering from Sandy lingers and the fate of its victims remains uncertain.
The first broadcast showing houses smoldering knocked the wind out of me. Mother Nature's missiles had rained down on the Rockaways and the ground seethed in defeat. I think everyone watching was in shock.
I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. So many people reached out to me in this past week to make sure I am ok, and I thank you all. But truth be told, I may as well have been in Colorado. My neighborhood survived virtually untouched as I watched the footage of damage in Hoboken, Tribeca, and Breezy Point. Extremely lucky.
You've all seen the pictures. And if you haven't, it's only because you're still in a power outage (because I refuse to believe that anyone with power and access to the outside world hasn't seen at least one photo).
You know the iconic images of 'our Katrina': The security camera photo of the PATH train in Hoboken; the bird's eye view of uptown Manhattan with power and downtown in blackness; the charred remains of Queens; the crushed neighborhoods of Staten Island.
But what you don't see are communities like Oceanside. Because the situation in Oceanside is not even one of the worst; and when you think of all that is going on there, and how it doesn't come close to these other apocalyptic visuals, you wonder how many other people fall outside of the ranks of "most devastated" yet still feel like their world is ending?
At the start of my volunteer day, I walked from house to house on Byrd Street asking residents what they needed needed. Supplies? Help emptying their teetering houses?
That's how I met Frannie*. She perched on her neighbor's front step, staring at her life now heaped on the front lawn. She sat frozen in her pilling sweater and stained Uggs and cried. Her husband is a diabetic. He only has a few days left of his medications. She lost her only son to cancer in January and now this storm smacked her down as water drowned his childhood bedroom. Not only does she have little left of her life, she has little left of his. Frannie needed someone to listen. She needed to know someone cared.
Since it was Sunday and the storm had exited stage left by Tuesday night, most residents already cleared out their houses. They had taken down decaying basement walls, disposed of their children's art projects. Standing on their porches, exhausted and grimy, they looked around glassy-eyed. No power. No heat. FEMA not coming fast enough. Their hands dangled at their sides as if to say Now what?
Now what?
Now we bear witness. We find the nooks and crannies of the east coast that were hit, but have not been helped. We send aid to them. We volunteer our time for them. We gather supplies. We clean out our closets to replace a fraction of what they have lost. If there is anything we can learn from our Noah's Ark, it is that we must be kind to each other.
We also must remember that this is a situation that will not clean up in a few days or a even a few weeks. Our efforts must remain strong over the long haul in order for New Yorkers to earn the label "resilient."
Seeing New York in the shape that it was last week...I was simply sad. I looked around at a city I have loved and admired all of my life—where I have lived for six years—and could not believe the state of ruin. The untouchable center of the universe had been knocked down. I just wanted to cry.
Five days later at the end of my volunteer day, I could not feel anything. I didn't feel like crying or smiling. I wasn't proud or guilty. I was spent.
Both humbling and devastating, Sandy was a tour de force that readjusted our perspectives as she reminded us all that we are not invincible. I hope we can maintain this adjusted perspective while recuperating from the storm.
Today I think of the New York Moments during Sandy: The way time stopped when the subways halted; the way uptowners hosted downtowners to keep them warm (and hurricane-partying); the way people gathered to help each other. The damage will take a long time to repair, but if we work to lift each other up we will rebound unlike any other city.
To volunteer:
nycservice.org
JCorps.org
Feel free to add websites and notices for other opportunities in the comments below.
Now think about every little thing that could possibly be inside. The cushiony couches (the things between those couch cushions). Your new giant-screen TV that you saved up for. Your laptop and the external harddrive you back up on for times like these. Your bills. Your bank records. Your passport. The photos sitting in boxes on the floor that you meant to put in albums. The button-down you wore to work yesterday. The dress that you wore last year. Your favorite pair of leather boots that have gone way past their prime, but you just can't give them up. The slippers worn so flat their memories are more warming than the nonexistent faux fur. Everything you have ever owned or touched.
Now throw it all out. To the curb.
Unsalvageable.
And while you're at it, you're going to have to rip up the flooring of wherever it is you live because salt and natural sewage have soaked it—that smell of fishy lake seeping into the place that used to be your oasis from the outside world. This used to be home, but now it's just a fetid shell.
Welcome to Oceanside, Long Island, where I volunteered on Sunday with an organization know as JCorps.
The aftermath of Superstorm Sandy. The only thing you could be more sick of hearing about is the election.
While the polls have closed and the decision is final, the suffering from Sandy lingers and the fate of its victims remains uncertain.
The first broadcast showing houses smoldering knocked the wind out of me. Mother Nature's missiles had rained down on the Rockaways and the ground seethed in defeat. I think everyone watching was in shock.
I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. So many people reached out to me in this past week to make sure I am ok, and I thank you all. But truth be told, I may as well have been in Colorado. My neighborhood survived virtually untouched as I watched the footage of damage in Hoboken, Tribeca, and Breezy Point. Extremely lucky.
You've all seen the pictures. And if you haven't, it's only because you're still in a power outage (because I refuse to believe that anyone with power and access to the outside world hasn't seen at least one photo).
You know the iconic images of 'our Katrina': The security camera photo of the PATH train in Hoboken; the bird's eye view of uptown Manhattan with power and downtown in blackness; the charred remains of Queens; the crushed neighborhoods of Staten Island.
But what you don't see are communities like Oceanside. Because the situation in Oceanside is not even one of the worst; and when you think of all that is going on there, and how it doesn't come close to these other apocalyptic visuals, you wonder how many other people fall outside of the ranks of "most devastated" yet still feel like their world is ending?
At the start of my volunteer day, I walked from house to house on Byrd Street asking residents what they needed needed. Supplies? Help emptying their teetering houses?
That's how I met Frannie*. She perched on her neighbor's front step, staring at her life now heaped on the front lawn. She sat frozen in her pilling sweater and stained Uggs and cried. Her husband is a diabetic. He only has a few days left of his medications. She lost her only son to cancer in January and now this storm smacked her down as water drowned his childhood bedroom. Not only does she have little left of her life, she has little left of his. Frannie needed someone to listen. She needed to know someone cared.
Since it was Sunday and the storm had exited stage left by Tuesday night, most residents already cleared out their houses. They had taken down decaying basement walls, disposed of their children's art projects. Standing on their porches, exhausted and grimy, they looked around glassy-eyed. No power. No heat. FEMA not coming fast enough. Their hands dangled at their sides as if to say Now what?
Now what?
Now we bear witness. We find the nooks and crannies of the east coast that were hit, but have not been helped. We send aid to them. We volunteer our time for them. We gather supplies. We clean out our closets to replace a fraction of what they have lost. If there is anything we can learn from our Noah's Ark, it is that we must be kind to each other.
We also must remember that this is a situation that will not clean up in a few days or a even a few weeks. Our efforts must remain strong over the long haul in order for New Yorkers to earn the label "resilient."
Seeing New York in the shape that it was last week...I was simply sad. I looked around at a city I have loved and admired all of my life—where I have lived for six years—and could not believe the state of ruin. The untouchable center of the universe had been knocked down. I just wanted to cry.
Five days later at the end of my volunteer day, I could not feel anything. I didn't feel like crying or smiling. I wasn't proud or guilty. I was spent.
Both humbling and devastating, Sandy was a tour de force that readjusted our perspectives as she reminded us all that we are not invincible. I hope we can maintain this adjusted perspective while recuperating from the storm.
Today I think of the New York Moments during Sandy: The way time stopped when the subways halted; the way uptowners hosted downtowners to keep them warm (and hurricane-partying); the way people gathered to help each other. The damage will take a long time to repair, but if we work to lift each other up we will rebound unlike any other city.
To volunteer:
nycservice.org
JCorps.org
Feel free to add websites and notices for other opportunities in the comments below.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Fear of Missing Out
More often referred to nowadays as FOMO (bulldozing language along with YOLO), the fear of missing out seems to possess my friends. And, if we’re being honest, it was my second greatest fear until about eight weeks ago. (My first greatest fear was making a mistake, which led to a huge void in decision-making skills.) Moving on.
Choose the place you think you’ll have the most fun. If that means staying in and watching a movie, instead of going to a bar with seven girlfriends, then that is where YOUR party is.
I do my best to live by this new theory, but sometimes curiosity kills the night.
FOMO is just that...a fear. Conquer your fear not by forcing yourself to go out when you want to stay in or trying to please everyone by going to three parties in one night. Make a decision about where you want to be. What will be fun for YOU tonight?
Make your decision. Sit with it. Enjoy it. After all, you will always be missing out on something. Best not to worry about the fun you're not a part of and make the most of where you are.
Ditch the FOMO. After all, YOLO.
Monday, October 15, 2012
The Happiness Box
It’s been a little while since I’ve written. Two weeks to be exact. But it has been an important and eventful two weeks. For starters I am officially in my mid-twenties now. Older, yes. Wiser, hopefully.
I know, I know. The holidays. The Jewishness. I promise that even though I’m about to jack yet another lesson from a rabbi, this is actually not about Judaism.
As the story goes there is a little boy who is pessimistic and cynical and has a terrible outlook on life. (They grow up so fast these days.) Everyone else gets presents, everyone else has what he does not. And when his dad buys his mom a washing machine, that is the last straw (in my uncle’s retelling of this sermon the gift was a washing machine...I don’t remember if this is accurate or not. Nevertheless...). The boy’s father says “But I did get you a gift. The gift is the box and inside of it you will be happy.” Well the boy starts to play inside the box and he loves the box. He is always happy when he is in the box. It’s his happy place. But when he packs for summer camp, the happiness box will not fit in his duffel. How will he ever be happy?
- Happiness is a mindset. See above.
- Learn to accept criticism. You will never become a better person if all you can do is accept praise. We must learn to accept and internalize criticism to become better people. Better versions of ourselves.
- Be patient. Slow down. Don’t be that jerk that honks the horn at the car in front of you when the light has not yet turned green, just because you saw the light of the perpendicular traffic turn red. But more importantly, absorb life. Do not rush through it. Even the seemingly miserable parts have something to teach us.
After all, only by making yourself better will you earn your seat in the happiness box.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Keep young and musical
I'm starting to understand what people say when they tell you to enjoy being young. I think it's because I'm feeling young. Yes. On the eve of my 24th birthday, it occurs to me that I have learned in the past year how to keep young.
Yesterday I went to—what I would call—my second real concert ever, my seventh overall. Spice girls was my first concert ever at the Meadows in fourth grade. Backstreet boys came next in middle school. My then-boyfriend took me to Dave Matthews Band junior year; I was so freaked in the midst of all the drunk high schoolers on the lawn I didn't even realize I was at a concert. (This I consider the real concert, because it was outdoors on a lawn full of music fans high as kites.) I saw Frankie Valli and the four seasons once and Billy Joel twice. So concert-going experience level = novice.
Yesterday I went to—what I would call—my second real concert ever, my seventh overall. Spice girls was my first concert ever at the Meadows in fourth grade. Backstreet boys came next in middle school. My then-boyfriend took me to Dave Matthews Band junior year; I was so freaked in the midst of all the drunk high schoolers on the lawn I didn't even realize I was at a concert. (This I consider the real concert, because it was outdoors on a lawn full of music fans high as kites.) I saw Frankie Valli and the four seasons once and Billy Joel twice. So concert-going experience level = novice.
But I was invited to go to the Global Citizen Concert in Central Park sponsored by the Global Poverty Project. On the bill: The Black Keys, Foo Fighters, and Neil Young.
A few of my friends won tickets through the online lotto, and we all went as a big group. Now I know why people love to go to concerts.
I had such a blast. There I was, in Central Park with tens of thousands of music fans, dancing on the Great Lawn and jiving to some of the best bands in the world.
I had such a blast. There I was, in Central Park with tens of thousands of music fans, dancing on the Great Lawn and jiving to some of the best bands in the world.
Can I also just say that guitar players are sexy? The lead singer of The Black Keys was just too nice to look at. It's something about the crisp white tee and middle finger ring that just makes a girl sigh.
But aside from admiring the band members, I also realized that rock and roll is kind of awesome. It turns out, this Broadway girl just loves good music of any genre. I could totally see myself rocking out to some Black Keyes at home. In fact, I think I'll buy a CD of theirs.
But I digress. As I stood in the crowd, I noticed that a lot of my fellow groovers were parents who brought their kids with them. One guy—it was the cutest thing—bobbed his head to the beat in time with his toe-headed three-year-old. This guy, a dad and all, was still working it out at a concert and teaching his kid to love music.
That's when it hit me: music keeps you young. There is something about it that feeds the soul. People have wedding songs and prom songs and "first kiss" songs because music holds a power to bring us back to the moment. Music is presence and nostalgia all in one.
Go see this movie. It is hysterical and l laughed out loud at Rebel Wilson the full hour-and-a-half. While Elena and I cracked up at how all the a ca-politics were just childishly silly and terribly accurate, we were taken back to our college days. As a perk, the a capella arrangements had me jamming in my movie theater seat to song damn good music. Nostaligic and present.
As further proof of this: I went to see Pitch Perfect as an early birthday treat with my friends Elena (who I sang with in college) and Rebecca.
Go see this movie. It is hysterical and l laughed out loud at Rebel Wilson the full hour-and-a-half. While Elena and I cracked up at how all the a ca-politics were just childishly silly and terribly accurate, we were taken back to our college days. As a perk, the a capella arrangements had me jamming in my movie theater seat to song damn good music. Nostaligic and present.
Music. You feel it. You live it while it plays, but it also brings you back. Yesterday, jumping around at the Global Citizen Concert (whether to keep warm in the chilled night's air or to enjoy the music is anyone's guess) I thought to myself this is what it means to be young. This is what it is to enjoy New York and life. Then at the movie, I just sat there and swayed and grooved. I had nowhere to be but enjoying myself.
I was always a stressed out kid and my parents would say "Ruthie, just relax and have fun." It may have taken me 24 years, but I think I've learned how.
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