Happy wedding time

It's July folks. I cannot even believe it. June zoomed right by. Too fast for me to even recognize that June--known to all bridal industry professionals the month of all months for weddings--quickly came and went, though not without some nuptial celebrations. 

This last week of June was the first time such prosperity for the people in my own life coincided with the commercially decided month of matrimony. As part of a really big Jewish family, I have a ton of cousins (meaning first and second) of marrying age. They basically pick the date they can squeeze onto an already full calendar. I've been to fall weddings, winter weddings--June has never been a bigger deal than any other time. Now, the difference is: my friends are of marrying age. And what an eventful June week it was.

I attended my cousin's wedding this past Wednesday and one of my closest friend's wedding yesterday. In between chair-lifting and toasting, another cousin of mine got engaged and yet another cousin of mine announced that he and his wife are expecting! Meanwhile, last Tuesday a distant friend of mine got married and yesterday, out in Ohio, my friend from college got married. It seems my life is busting at the seams with happy couples.

My mood around weddings varies. In the past, weddings were tough since all of my aunts and uncles would bless me, muttering in Arabic, hoping that I would enjoy the same blessings as the bride and groom very soon. It felt like an insane amount of pressure. (Think of my family as Toula's family in My Big Fat Greek Wedding). Since then, I have adjusted what they're saying in my head to mean "the same for you" in due time. This is a little less aggravating on the nerves and turns a time bomb into a simple well-wish. A happy thought. 

So now, I try just to bask in the glow of happiness of the bride and groom whenever I'm at a wedding. Their wedding is not about my not-wedding, which is important to keep in mind at a time when so many people I know are headed towards wedded bliss. (I know as a twenty-something I am not alone in this.) The day is about them, and what an honor it has been to a be a part of so many happy days!

On wedding days, I get to see two families merge because of a singular love. You merge people, you merge traditions, friends. Your lives basically collide in an explosion to create something brand new. Nifty science experiment, no? 

The wedding I went to yesterday married a man who had been raised as a Reform Jew and a woman who had been raised more traditionally and is an Orthodox Jew. It was incredible to watch the Reform rabbi tag team with the Orthodox rabbi to perform a ceremony with many Orthodox traditions in a Reform synagogue sanctuary. 

The fusion of practices and customs evidenced compromise at its best. It was so cool to watch how two definitive paths merged into one new blazing trail. It inspired hope within me. Look what people are willing to do for those they love. The husband will sacrifice for the wife and vice versa, but each of their families also bend to accommodate a new addition to the family tree. It makes me think that, perhaps, in the world at large compromise is possible.

But most importantly, from all these festive occasions and happy announcements you realize how important it is to pause and fully enjoy these moments of happiness. Not only is there a lot of crap going on in the world, but I find that too often families make the time for each other only for obligatory sad occasions. You get a call when, G-d forbid, someone is in the hospital. You drive a long way on short notice to make it to a funeral. For some reason, tragedies get priority over comedies. Attend the events that you get to sing and dance and drink and eat and laugh and be merry. 

I vote that happy times get just as much attention and priority as sad times. Life is short, moments are fleeting. Indulge in the ones that make you smile, in the ones that give you hope. Invest in the ones that make you feel love. 

And this is not exclusive to weddings. Choose to be a part of a celebration of love or friendship or family. My college roommates and I gathered for brunch our senior spring to reminisce about the past year of friendship and living together. We laughed at old stories and ate delicious pancakes. It wasn't a conventional celebration for springtime, but it was a happy time. 

So happy wedding season and may you find creative ways to experience happy days that far outnumber days of any other kind.